THE HEAVENS—Sources within the Kingdom of God confirmed Thursday that late president of Iraq Saddam Hussein has been constantly complaining to his fellow angels about the abundance of Jews in Heaven.
Hussein, who has resided in Heaven since his death in 2006, reportedly claims to be “sick and tired of seeing Jews every day” of his infinite afterlife.
“Don’t get me wrong, this place is a hallowed paradise of unfathomable splendor, but to be perfectly frank, it’s a little hard to enjoy with all these damned Jews floating around,” said Hussein as his white angelic robes were bathed in the blessed light of the Lord. “It’s just frustrating that after putting in 69 years of hard work on Earth, I have to come up here and see Jews everywhere I turn.”
A residence hall at the University of Illinois has invited Annie Sprinkle, a famous porn star from the 1970s and 80s, to conduct a sex education week, which is set to culminate with an “Orgasm Workshop” Thursday night.
Annie Sprinkle, a former porn star, will be teaching an “Orgasm Workshop” at Illinois University Thursday night.
Sprinkle plans to play students her documentary “Annie Sprinkle’s Amazing World of Orgasm” which features interviews with 26 “orgasm experts” and describes itself as a ”poetic homage to the big O.”
Laura Haber, the program director for Unit One, the resident community that is hosting the week, said the workshop will involve participation from students but will bar all nudity.